This is the look of defeat. Of absolute misery and pissed-offedness. Yes, I made up a word. I’m an intellectual genius.
Red nose, inflamed from non-stop crying? Check.
Dark circles under eyes from sleeplessness? Double check.
Raw lips from constantly chewing on them out of nervous anticipation? Definitely.
Another cycle in the shitter? Most definitely.
We’re done with everything for right now. I can’t do it. If I can’t get pregnant with 5 eggs floating around, then fuck it. I can’t get pregnant. I can’t. So fuck it. I’m tired of trying and paying for something that we can’t achieve.

I’m so, so sorry, J. I don’t even know what to say. I’m just sorry.