That title could insinuate so many things…
We have a plan, a family plan. One that will somewhat suck, but will be better for us in the end.
Big Daddy will be going to school from August – December, taking a course so he will be able to work at national parks and battlefields. I am really excited for this, as is he…so it does indeed suck he will be away, but only a few hours. He has a dream of working in Gettysburg and I seriously believe he will. It gives him purpose, which gives way to confidence, which leads to a direct projection of happiness to our family.
The only part that makes me leery is if I get pregnant this round, I’ll deliver a month before his class is finished. If. I find it so hard to be positive when all I ever see are negatives. While Drama Queen runs around making up stories about her siblings (which obviously do not exist) I ache even more for another baby.
Today doing our taxes I was pissed, then hurt, then sad all over again. Entering Hannah as our dependent, our one and only, stuck me hard. We should have two. Sounds dumb, huh? But not really. It threw me back to when I told Big Daddy I was pregnant, and I said, “Oh! Just in time for a tax deduction!” To which he compared me to my father, yet laughed.
I’m hoping Saturday brings us good news at the ultrasound. I can feel my pelvic area getting tender, I know I have follicles developing…I am so tired of waiting, dammit.