ACK

I just finished my Clomid 100 mg CD 3-7 yesterday–woohoo!  I only had 2 hot flashes, which shocks me considering on half the dose I was a furnace constantly!  We go in Saturday to see if my lazy ovaries have stepped up.  If so, a couple days of good ol’ fashioned insemination!  I hate waiting, it sucks. 

Yesterday Nicole sent me a text, and I swear I knew what it was as soon as I realized it was a pic.  Yep, she’s Pregnant!  I’m not going to lie, my initial reaction was , “Damn!  Why can’t it be me?!” but in all honesty, I am happy for her.  She’s been going through the same things we have for a long time…so I hope this baby sticks!  I told her I hope to follow suit, because the last two times she was pregnant, I got pregnant shortly after 🙂  First Bristol was born, then Hannah came along.  Nicole was pregnant again, lost the baby.  Ditto here. 

I’m the only person she told–I can completely understand how scared she is to tell anyone until she finds out everything is ok. 

If we get pregnant this cycle, my due date would be 11/1/11.  How neat!  Although I doubt I would deliver on my EDD, it would be neat to have an 11/11 baby with our 07/07 chick.

This winter storm of the century?  Not a big fan.  At all.

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False Hope

We failed again.  Surprise, surprise.

Looks like another round of ultrasounds, meds, needles, and long trips.  Dammit.

I’m not pregnant, yet still can’t start my period.  Should be here, it’s not, so once again I have to take meds to kick start it.  My body hates me.

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What to Believe…

Things have been so crazy around our house lately, but is it any wonder?  I feel like a cloud of chaos clings to our family, like PigPen’s dirty cloud in Peanuts.  I hate this waiting, of not knowing, of a “maybe”, but “not for sure”.  UGH!

I got my trigger shot on January 8th, so today makes 12 days past my trigger shot.  The nurse at The Moonster’s office told me to wait “2 weeks and 2 days” before taking a pregnancy test.  Ha!  I was thinking,  “Listen hear you little 18-year-old” and giving her a piece of mind inside my head…Hahaha!  Little did she know I had already bought 20 Dollar Tree pregnancy tests to test out my trigger.  I watched it fade away!  yeah!  There is NO frickin’ way I could wait that long. 

So anyhow, I also bought some First Response because they are much more sensitive and with my wonderful new FSA card, it’s just like no money out of pocket for me to buy them!  Woohoo!!  The Dollar Tree tests faded out to negative a few days ago, but the First Response tests stopped fading.  On the 18th, it was soooo light I thought I was imagining it.  Then it’s darkened up a bit since.  Still not really dark, but not fading away either. 

I had a 10,000 IU shot, 1,000 IU per day are supposed exit my system…so with today being 12 days past the shot, and I’m still getting positives…I can’t help but be a little giddy, yet hesitant.

Ooh, the agony of waiting.

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Merry Christmas, Ho Ho Ho

Nothing new, I’ve been praying like crazy for a baby.  My Christmas present this year?  I finally started my period after 43 days.  Woohoo!  Last time it was a 45 day wait, so 2 days sooner is progress.  Maybe we will get our Christmas baby after…it’s the beginning.

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The Moonster, part 2 & other random tidbits

We made the trip to Canton yesterday for my HSG and I have to admit I was a little nervous.  The one I had in March somewhat prepared me for it, which helped, but then I also knew what I was getting myself into.  We showed up early and The Moonster came over from his office right away–no waiting! 

This time was SO much easier!  It was over in about 30 seconds and I had very little cramping.  There was no turning, no moving around–nothing!  I just stayed still and it was all over!  My tubes are clear as can be–Yay!  I also found out my uterus tilts forward, not back as Dr. P told me.  In the scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter which way it tilts, but I was intrigued.

Big Daddy said it probably went much smoother because The Moonster is the size of an Oompa Loompa and he was at eye level.  Hardy har har.  On a serious note–he does these all the time and practice makes perfect–big points for me!

We go back in a week for a follow up appointment.  All my blood work is normal.  I told The Moonster I had copies of it all because I didn’t want to wait until my appointment to find out what they were and he just laughed at me and said he could tell I was a nurse.

I’m starting to feel a bit more positive.  I got pregnant right away after my HSG in March, so I’m hoping it happens again.  I just have this feeling if it doesn’t happen this month, it will in a couple…hopefully. 

Drama Queen has started asking for a sister a lot lately and it breaks my heart.  I wish she had someone to play with.  It makes us feel better that she gets the interaction at school and dance class, but we just wish she had a sibling to play with at home.  Speaking of school, take a peek at her pictures!!  I am so excited about them, it’s ridiculous! (Excuse my poor scanning abilities in advance)

It’s hard to pick, but I think this is my favorite:

Gorgeous Girl

 

I love this one too, because she’s giggly and has her little ankles crossed:

Giggles 🙂

 And then there’s this one, with her little smirk:

Bahahahaha, I'm plotting!

 But do any of those compare to her class picture?  I think not.  She has the classic “What’s going on?  Which way do I look?” puzzlement on her face.  Big Daddy has dubbed it the Classic Henson Look:

Class Picture
We’re having our Thanksgiving today since I have to work tomorrow night.  I’m sure I’ll get a few people with tryptophan overdoses, but hey–money is money and I’m there for 12 hours anyhow.
 
Last night, Big Daddy was helping to get things ready for today.  The best money I’ve ever spent was on a Rada Ultimate Vegetable Peeler.  Seriously.  Paring knives + Big Daddy = 3/4 of the potato destroyed to smithereens.  Ultimate Vegetable Peeler + Big Daddy = most of potato salvaged and mama stays happy!
Point of this story…let’s backtrack a couple of weeks.  I’m peeling potatoes and throw the peels into the garbage.  Big Daddy doesn’t understand why I chose to walk the strenuous 3 feet to the trash can to dispose of them, instead of shoving them down the garbage disposal.  My reply was, “I don’t want to clog it up” and of course was just hysterical to Big Daddy.  “That’s what they’re made for!”  hahaha.
 
Yeah, let me hahaahhahahaha you now, Big Daddy.  Because lo and behold, what happened?!  The 10 pounds of potatoes he peeled?  He insisted on shoving those peels down into the garbage disposal.  And then the sink clogged up, which in turn Big Daddy had to take apart the pipes.  Oh, glorious redemption!!!  He got a tad irate when I busted out the camera to capture this moment in history, saying, “I don’t want my picture taken because you’ll post it on Facebook”.  Pffftttt!  I wouldn’t do that, baby, just my blog, bwahahaahaa!
 
This first pic his hand is blurry because he is in the process of flipping me off:

What happened?

 

Work it, baby!

And last but not least, I tried to get a close up:
 

Hee hee!

 
Even better than the Plumber pictures is pictures of Sissy helping make cookies, aka eating the dough.  I honestly can’t say she gets that from her father–my body runs on cookies!
 

Helping out

Kisses for Mama

We have tons to be thankful for and tons to keep our fingers crossed for… 

 
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Sometimes

I just need a break.  Time to breathe.  Time to focus on myself and my family. 

I’m feeling better with this decision and the time that has passed.  I think I’ll keep it going.  Sometimes you just grow apart, drift away, and even if you don’t want that, you maintain the distance to save your own sanity.

5 day countdown to hsg.  Will it be successful like last time?  Who knows. 

Work tonight…arrgggggghhhh!!  If only we didn’t need the money.  The Mega Millions Fairy needs to make her rounds $$$$

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Thankful

A quick post, lest I forget.

Things I am currently thankful for:

Provera.  Couldn’t have my period without you.  Literally.  Cycle day 2 today.  Woot!

Drama Queen insisting on wearing her Minnie Mouse sunglasses inside the entire weekend.

Lucy and Papa Gumballs still thriving, despite the loss of BB last week.  DQ still has no clue BB bit the dust and joined her ancestors with one big flush.

My new camera, courtesy of Big Daddy.  Couldn’t wait until  Christmas to give it to me because, “You’d miss so much between now and then if I waited”.  Love!

Things I not so thankful for:

The acne Provera has blessed me with.  Big, painful, cysts–there is no possible way to disguise them.  Yuck.

The mother-effing cramps.

Diarrhea.

Rainy weather.

Dog farts.

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